It’s the in the wind

Originally posted: Tuesday, October 09, 2007


It’s the in the wind
Current mood: restless

I’m restless.

I feel like I’m in a hurry, yet with no particular destination.

Not a stressed feeling... more like energized, excited.

Looking forward with impatience.

I think it’s the time of year.
I love seeing the changes in the leaves, and even the chill in the air, (yes this freeze baby just said that.)

I don’t like the cold, but there’s something about “crisp” weather that makes me want to move.

I want to ride horse, go shopping for big cozy clothes, drink hot chocolate after playing outside with boo boo till her little cheeks get pink. I want to go to a far away pumpkin patch that takes all day to drive there and search for the perfect one, come home and carve the most goulish face boo will let me on it, and then roast the seeds....

Growing up we never had to go to a pumpkin patch, we just took a trip out to the garden.... I like going to the “patch”. It’s just so much more of an event, and adventure, and it seems with the weather, the harder wind blows, the harder I’m being pushed towards......


.....something........

restless

It reminds me of the movie Chocolat with Johnny Depp... “Once upon a time, there was a quiet little village in the French countryside, whose people believed in Tranquilité - Tranquility. If you lived in this village, you understood what was expected of you. You knew your place in the scheme of things. And if you happened to forget, someone would help remind you. In this village, if you saw something you weren’t supposed to see, you learned to look the other way. If perchance your hopes had been disappointed, you learned never to ask for more. So through good times and bad, famine and feast, the villagers held fast to their traditions. Until, one winter day, a sly wind blew in from the North... ................”


I grew up in a town like that.

I understood what was expected of me.

I knew my place.

and I couldn’t wait to get out

My North wind was graduation and college and a boy and the overwhelming feeling there’s more... and later I found myself in another town, in a different yet similar place with very similar expectations.

and again, I felt trapped

Now?

I don’t feel trapped.

I’m happy, I’m proud of myself and my daughter. Of the struggles that come with being a parent, hell.. of just being an adult. I like who I am, where I live, my friends, being single plus one, of the quality of work I do, of the work I’m capable of, of the acting I get to do, the experiences and lessons life has to offer.




“But still the clever north wind was not satisfied. It spoke to Vianne of towns yet to be visited, friends in need yet to be discovered, battles yet to be fought...



restless



I used to think there was something wrong with me.. that I was never satisfied, that I wasn’t happy with the “normal life” everyone else seemed to be.... but now I really think that if the “wind” didn’t push me forward, I think perhaps I would never become what I am capable of, I would have stopped back in that small town .......

>i/i<


Yep, I must be crazy.


Crazy about life and all that it holds, I want to see it all.........