I learned....

Originally posted Monday, July 16, 2007


I learned....
Current mood: happy

Last night when I got back from my parents house, I took care of a few things that I’ve been neglecting...

Like what Nixie?

Well, like the mosquito farm I seem to have been growing in the backyard inside boo boo’s pool.

DISGUSTING... all those squirming baby squitos.....I didn’t even want to touch it.

Plus the army of spiders that are in my backyard all around the pool and boo boo’s sandbox!

DAMMIT!

I stood there for awhile looking at the disgusting” farm” trying to figure out how to dump it, too heavy to lift.. I could just stand on the edge and let the water drain... but... um... ewww disgusting squirming baby squitos will then be on my feet and..........

No.

No.

NO!

OOOH! I’ll just put the hose in there and eventually it will siphon itself out..... right?

Hose in pool? CHECK! I should suck on it to get the siphoning started I think.

....For a second until I look at the hose, and picture myself sucking and then getting disgusting squirmy squito babies in my MOUTH and then in my TUMMY and.......!!!

NO!

All right, we’ll just let gravity do it’s work.

Off to attack the growing spider army that’s outside the foundation of the house.

It’s like they are building their forces, to eventually just eat through the house, I mean there are those funnel webs all around the foundation on the landscape rocks. Those little bastards are watching me.. I just know it. and at this thought I shudder.

Grabbed the chemicals off the shelf and started spraying like I was a cowboy in the old westerns my dad watches all of the time. Yes siree, shootin’ from the hip, wishin’ I had two guns. Pulling the trigger so fast my hand would cramp up and then I’d just become a southpaw shooter.

Pow pow pow, and then I’d get one of those little bastards in my sight, shoot it and laugh maniacally... “ha ha ha take that you little fucker!”

At which point I turn to my right and see my daughter watching me, eyes wide in disbelief.

“Mama?”

**giggle**

“Yes, baby?”

“Whatcha doin?”

“Killin’ spiders baby.”

“Why are you laughing mama?”

“Because it makes me happy baby” God, I must look like a crazy woman.

“Ok, get em mama! GET EM!” she shouts jumping around “There’s one... there’s another one!”

I sprayed and sprayed and sprayed, and went back to check the mosquito farm situation.

Nothing. Not moving, not siphoning nadda.

“Ugh!”

“MAMA! MAMA! There’s a spider on my sandbox! GET IT! GET IT!”

“You get it” hoping she would, I really don’t want to pass my arachnophobia to her.

Crap ok, ok.. “Hang on baby”

During the time I was figuring out what to do with the mosquito farm, she had seen 6 more spiders on or in her sand box.

BASTARDS!!! YOU WILL NOT GET MY BOO!!!

I grabbed the spray and sprayed around her sandbox since it the package said it was safe for kids and pets after the spray has dried.

Ok... mosquito farm.

Ew.

I ended up using one of her plastic chairs to squash the side down and let the water drain, until it got to the point where I needed to pick it up and dump it to get the rest out.

I was thinking how smart and resourceful I was because I had managed to empty the pool without getting squirmy wormy squito babies all over me.

I had dump the last couple of gallons out, so I tried to pick it up and over, but lacking in the muscle department I could only get it up half way (minds outta the gutter boys) and then I had to hold it up, walk around to the front and pull it the rest of the way over... all the way... and I felt the cool, slimy squirmy wormy squito baby water run over the top of my feet.

I must have put the hose back together in record time to wash the disgusting farm off my legs and feet.

Finished scrubbing the scum out of the pool and stored it upside down with a chair on it to keep it from blowing away, all the while repeating my mantra... “squito babies are not burrowing into your skin to infest your body, you will not wake up or dream of looking at your legs and see a squirming mass underneath the skin.....squito babies are not burrowing.......”

Anyone want my imagination for a while?

Didn’t think so.

OK... work done, let’s have some fun.

I grabbed the pliers and moved boo boo’s bike seat up cuz she’s grown so much she actually needs a new one, but this wil do for now.

And what did I learn?

I learned that I will spray for spiders inside AND outside on time to stop the army from building.

I learned that I will empty the pool out each time boo boo uses it, instead of thinking we’ll be right back in it tomorrow, the water won’t be warm enough if I dump it each time, must keep boo from hypothermia.... but squirmy wormy squito babies are a bigger threat

And most importantly and at least more intriguing?

I learned that my tongue is somehow involved in the process of using a pliers. I can not seem to turn a nut without sticking my tongue out and in the direction it’s turning.. I even tried not to.