Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Wild Beastie

In some cultures people put small houses at the end of their property that resemble their house.

This is to deter evil spirits from posessing them.

I wish I would have put one out on Sunday.

My usually silly, sweet, munchkin came running at me teeth barred, lips pulled back in a snarl, hands curled up by her face like little claws and eyes wild...

You see I took the phone back from her to talk to my mom, after she wasn't responding to her anymore.

Apparently the 5 times I asked her if she was done talking to gramma wasn't good enough, and didn't give her enough time to make up her mind.

So if it's not too late for some of you... Put the replica of your house out NOW!

Please I beg of you... before it's too late!

AHHHHHHHHHH it's B-A-C-K!!!... .. quick......
save yourselves........
Oh god, no!!!

current mood: mischievous
current music: Michael Franti & Spearhead- What I be

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Yes that's a penis up her nose

Friday night we had an impromptu Bachelorette party for a co-worker...
We went dancing....

And of course had the usual penis parafinalia that goes along with those kinds of parties... the penis in question was orginally attached to a tiara that said stud finder until I bit it off... um... right.

All in all it was a good time... I danced my little heart out....

Exhausted.... will write more later...

Sunday, November 13, 2005

"Mama, I'm a pretty princess!"

As I was making lunch for these two.. I hear

"Mama! Mama look! Mama I'm a pretty princess!"

Friday, November 11, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Fun with Fellatio

So a while ago three of my girl friends and I went to a wine tasting out here in hicksville.

Now I've only been to one other wine tasting out here and that one was a "mixer" where we just came in, got a glass and went from vendor to vendor. The purpose seemed to be drink, drink drunk. It was fun, and I got to try some wines I normally wouldn't have, and that's good.

The one we went to the other night was a "sit down" one where the wine club decided to try something new and serve food with it.. bites of appetizers, meals etc. that all involved sauces of some sort.

Now I'm not sure if that's what started the subject or not, but now that I'm writing and thinking about it, it had to have some correlation.

We were at the "desert" portion and they were serving chocolate covered strawberries (YUM) and I started talking about chocolate dick.

Now that isn't a reference to a persons race.

It's all about one of my favorite ways to... well.. right.
Basically you get a package of brownie mix, the ones that you don't add anything but water to, and mix it up. Now for the guys comfort, don't do this too far in advance so you don't have to refridgerate it or you will have an issue with longevity.
Makes it taste yummy, and the texture works for the guys too, provided you don't get the mix with nuts.. cuz.. um OUCH?!

Then my girlfriend starts talking about Magic Shell.
Now I'm still somewhat confused as to how this works because I'm pretty sure Magic Shell doesn't harden unless it freezes... and I wasn't close enough to her to hear the whole story, but I'm going to assume it's one of two ways.. and until I find a victim, um.. I mean partner... we'll never know.
So I'm thinking you can put it on while he's not hard and play with him, like maybe put some ice cubes on? Doesn't sound all that much fun for the dude at this point. And then maybe he "breaks out of his shell" as it were, when you really start to play and lick it off? Who knows... Or you just use it in it's liquid form. If that's the case I'll stick to brownie mix.. I like the taste better... although Magic Shell comes in flavors.... hmmm....

I also brought up PopRocks... One girl liked that idea so much she stopped at the store and got some on her way home to her husband. He said she should hang out with us more often.

And then there is the normal stuff.. like whipcream, pudding, mints, ice cubes, etc.

Now.. I have to go...
I need to find a date.

some test...

You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow. Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three.

Captain Jack Sparrow


Lara Croft


El Zorro


Indiana Jones


Batman, the Dark Knight


James Bond, Agent 007


William Wallace




The Terminator


Neo, the "One"


The Amazing Spider-Man


Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I wanna do this AGAIN! NOW!

I want to do this... again.. and again.. and again... even with Mark! (HA!)

I wish oh how I wish this was my "day" job, and not sitting here in an office dreaming of the fun I could have all the while making people laugh!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


Or would you like to be here? Ha!


Once upon a time... a few years ago... in AZ I met Joey.

He's an awesome guy.
Hilarious, sweet, cute, Joey!

Monday, November 07, 2005


With Love from Arizona

Joe & Terry...

Mel just sent me this pic from AZ.. a whole story in and of itself that I should write about someday.. but damn I wish I was there right now.. with them..

The pic above was sent too, I think its the bar that used to be a post office....

anyway... missing them badly.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Jumping in the leaves for the first time.

I remember doing that when I was about six or seven... my sister, mom and I were all out raking leaves, and it sucked!
Hard work for a kid with a adult size rake.

Mom saw us struggling I think and asked if we wanted to make a big pile and jump in, with the stipulation that we knew we had to re-rake everything back up again.

Now I actually remember thinking... that was a lot of work, do I really want to do it?
And I thought of all the kids I've seen on TV that did it, and how much fun it looked like.

So I decided I would.

Big run... huge jump... anticipating... something

Bam! into the leaves...


I also remember thinking.. that was it? For real?
Man... now I have to re-rake... that SO was not worth it.

Orleys son Jack, comatose after being around Ella.

Auntie's Pedicure

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Hey ROCK ON!!!

Now I can send my phone pics directly to my blog!!! YAY!!!

This was boo when we moved to our new apt... she wanted my hat!


Me and my boo...

Happy Halloween it was.
She would go to the door and say
"Trick or Please Treat"
giggle when she got candy and leave with a
"Thank You, Happy Halloween"

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Pig Tails = Attitude

We had an all day "Rah rah" meeting at work yesterday... ya know the ones that are supposed to give you warm fuzzy feelings about your company and shit?

Right!!!.. Exactly... the ones that give you a headache at the end of the day!!

Now that we are on the same page....

I woke up yesterday morning and knew that I needed a little extra something to get me through the day.

But what?


No, no that would be bad.... well, if I got caught it would be, plus I might just speak my mind, and well, that would lead to the unemployment line... so yeah, alcohol bad.....

um.... sexy undies? That usually helps... but um... this is an office meeting.. not good we'd have another "hot sauce" day on our hands, and no internet access to outlet some of that energy.. ooooh yeah... that could definitely turn out bad.

Ok.. lets see.... it's Halloween and our department (which ROCKS) is all wearing black "bite me" T's...

well... bitch boots work well, that gives a little something to the attitude... yeah, yeah.. rock 'n roll plaid crop pants... black leather studded belt.......ooohhh! ooohhhh!!!! RED LIPSTICK... yeah yeah that works...um....let's see, not quite there... .


PIG TAILS!!! Nothing says attitude, mischief, and "look out" like black bitch boots and Pig Tails.. especially when it's not at a strip club, but at an actual office environment OH YEAH!!!! ROCK ON!!!!

Thanks Orley!