Friday, August 26, 2005

As the Sun Burns....

Update from yesterdays post.... thought the Soap Opera Reference was called for.

As I approached the receptionists desk with dread I felt a little unconnected to my body.
"Hi, Linda Clayton to see Dr. Lebine"

The two receptionist sitting behind the desk look at each other as if to say, "are you going to get this one, or what?".
After a short stare off, the one that lost says In a high pitched exasperated voice "I don't see your name, what time was the appointment for?"



"Yes, today."

"When did you schedule it? Do you have your slip?"

"I scheduled it about a month and a half ago, and since I did it over the phone, no, I don't have my 'slip'."

"Well, I'm not seeing you....

(and I think..."Bitch, I'm right here, you don't have to be so rude.")

With another exasperated sigh she huffs "Did you talk to a nurse or a receptionists?"

Are you for real? Ok, remain composure, on top of being nervous I manage to stay calm.

"I don't know, whomever answered the phone that day."

"Well you're not in the computer"

NO SHIT! I'm right here... in a place that I didn't want to come to in the first place, and now that I've taken a half day off of work, you're going to tell me that your schedule is off and I'm not in the computer!!!!
Ok.. breathe Linda.. you'll get farther if you are nice... the whole flies with sugar thing... bleh...

I explain how hard it would be to reschedule, and ask if there's anyway I could still get in, and finally we come up with the solution of I will be fit into the schedule but all the people that are in the computer go before me.

"Do you have any idea how long it could be.. I have to be back in hicksville by 3:15 for another appt....?"

Out of no where (well over my right shoulder and a little to the right) a came a voice...

"She can have my appointment, it's at 1:30"

I turned my head with my mouth open in awe of the random act of kindness from a complete stranger.
There sat the stereotypical sweet little old lady... Gray hair pulled up in a bun, silver thin rimmed glasses, rosy cheeks and sweet smile both hands clutching her pocketbook on her lap.
I stumbled over my words of thanks, stunned by her kindness, and struck up a conversation to try to see if there was something I could give back.
It turns out she owns a B&B in St. Cloud and has a website but it isn't showing up in the search engines very easily... now, I do graphic design, but I am dumb when it comes to websites. I told her I thought it might have something to do with how her description is in her site. I do however have a friend who does know some stuff about websites, and I would get her in touch. I gave her my number, as my name was being called for the appointment... her appointment, and left her in the waiting room, hoping I could repay her favor.

Back to the harsh reality of my visit.

The nurse comes in, throws me a gown, and I get undressed, and wait... in my cold little hospital gown and my cotton thong...trying not to think of what was to come.

They're going to cut me.
(yes, I'm a wimp)

Dr. LeBine enters with an assistant, and starts the search, and thank god he didn't start the lecture.
He found 3 areas he wants to cut out, he circles them, leaves and the nurse injects me with numbing agent... he comes back in, and starts to cut. God I hate that feeling. I can feel his hands on my skin around the area he's going to cut, and then this odd, pressure. I know that he is cutting deep into my skin and there is blood and it should be hurting instead of this... odd, numb, scraping I'm feeling, and I'm not sure what would be worse at this point.
I must say one of the areas was a little awkward as his head was, well, um.. in between my thighs. Now I've had some shall we say less than great experiences in that position, but this was definitely the worst experience I've ever had in that position, and maybe it's just me, but I couldn't help but think about a better reason for his head to be there.... maybe it was a coping mechanism... or maybe I need more sex in my life... :-P ANYWAY....
By the time he gets to the third spot, I feel a little nauseous, and a tad shakey....the nurse bandages me up, he lectures me to take care of the areas, come back in 6 months unless pathology shows bad news, and he's out the door. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.. yep, his head should have been there for a better reason!!!!

So now I wait... I take care of the bandages, and wait for 2 weeks for the results.

I HATE waiting.

And there's no one who can switch appointments with me on this one.


Orley said...

God your a dirty dirty girl!!!! And if you can't handle that how in the world are you going to get a tattoo?

Peggy said...

She is of course right.... the buzzing of the needles.. as they pierce your skin countless times... pushing the ink deep, deep DEEP into your skin...(ahhh quiver quiver)

The pain you grow to love and

You will be fine...!!

Linda said...

Hey I've already got two tatts!! That's completely different!!!