I'm not a girly girl in the sense that I have to wake up 2 hours before I have to leave in order to get my hair and make up just perfect. In fact I'm pretty much the opposite.
I have good intentions, I mean before I go to sleep I'll set the alarm for 45 minutes before I'm supposed to leave thinking I'll have time to do something with my hair, and perhaps put on some mascara. But it never fails... the alarm goes off, I wake up out of a dream I don't want to, look at the alarm clock in disgust, and listen to the oh too chipper DJ's talking about something I don't really care about.
Then comes the ritual conversation in my head.
"Ok, get up"
"No"
"yeah, come on... it's time to get up, if you get up now you can have a long hot shower, maybe even shave your legs."
"Oh fuck the shaving my legs...it's not like I'm having sex anytime soon"
"Oh now you did it... that's a depressing thought... yeah, stay in bed.. 5 more min"
"No really, I should get up, I should face the day with a positive attitude, if I get up now I could at least have a quick shower, and put some lotion on before I do make-up"
"Who cares about moist soft skin, it's not summer yet, and reallly, no sex.. remember?"
"Shit... ok.. 5 more minutes".....
"WAKE UP! it's been 15 minutes!"
"Crap"
Thus begins the day of rushing to the bathroom, quick shower, brush teeth, put neccessary hair concoction on hair so I don't look like a walking qu-tip, and if I'm lucky some mascara. Well.. maybe if the rest of the people I come in contact with are lucky, cuz really... I don't care. I've actually always been a little pissed that women are supposed to put on make-up to become more attractive. I mean, what the hell? If we're gonna play by the rules then in all fairness men should have to wear make-up too, their skin isn't perfect, maybe not eyeshadow and mascara but a little blemish control might come in handy.
But I digress....
Anyway.. the point of this little story is I got to work today, after a quick shower, and a little mascara, and thought to myself as I sat here waiting for work to come in that I could use a little lotion. I actually patted myself on the back a little for using time management skills. I mean really.. I got to sleep an extra 5 minutes, got my shower, got to work only 3 minutes late, and I have lotion in my desk, well it's not actually on my desk, it's sitting in a bottle on my desk... so as I wait for my work to come in I can take that time to moisturize, in case someday I might get some.
As I put lotion on my hands and still no work had appeared I thought "Oh, I should really moisturize my legs too" so I rolled up my jeans (YAY Flare jeans) and proceed to put lotion on.
Now this right here my friends is where I had an ephiphany.
As I looked down at my glow in the dark white hairy legs, my white sweat socks that go all the way up to my knee (it's cold out there folks) my black shoes... I started to laugh. I mean now this is some sexy goodness happening right here.
If you are brave click the picture for a closeup of the sexiness... but the poster is not responsible for any retna damage that may occur.
I think tomorrow I'll make a better attempt to get up when the alarm goes off.
2 comments:
I think...if we took the leg clippings and added it to Tang, we could make a powerful aphrodisiac.
Yer Hawt, girl. King-sized. ; )
(And you do better in the a.m. than I, cutie. My eyes don't even open until I'm halfway to work. Then my boss says "Why are your pants on backwards?" And I'm left thinking "How did I even know how to zip them up?")
you make me laugh, and that makes me love you even more. :)
You are a beautiful Goddess. Make-up or NO make-up, hairy legs and all. And if it makes you feel remotely better, I am just as white, just as dry (probably drier... considering my whereabouts) and my razor hasn't seen the likeness of my legs for ??? couldn't even tell ya!
And I agree, the whole double standard of woman/makeup men/nothing... totally b.s.
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