Wednesday, November 09, 2011

the mysterious machines

Finally back at the gym.... the physical therapist gave me the go-ahead to do the elliptical for 10 minutes. Not a minute more no matter how good it might feel.

So... for a week I've been going to the gym doing my 10 glorious minutes on the elliptical and then wondering my way over to the ever intimidating weights area.


Very very very sheepishly...

I have a water bottle which I use not only for hydration but it gives me a smooth way to check out how to work the weird weight lifting apparatus.

So I casually stroll over and to my relief see that they have signs above each row that lets me know this row of machines will work your arms, this one your shoulders, this your legs...etc.

I start at the first machine in the row... nonchalantly unscrew the top off my water bottle and slowly take a drink all the while, reading the instructions lest I look like an idiot who doesn't know what they're doing.. for some reason I always feel pressure to get out of the way of the muscle peeps who obviously know exactly what they are doing and have no time to wait for you to either use the machine or read how to do it.

Do you know there are machines that don't have any instructions? I mean really... well they do have the warning sign the one that if you don't use the machine correctly you'll injure yourself, and I'm just coming off of an injury so that's like kryptonite and I avoid it at all costs, and walk away wondering if that one machine might hold the key to getting me in shape and now I will try and try in vain all because I've skipped it because it didn't have instructions.

Oh and what's with the generic dude images that are illustrations of how to do the exercise? Would it really hurt to put eyeballs on there so I don't use up all of my water on one machine trying to figure out if the dude is facing forward or backward?


My little drinking water trick has worked pretty well except when it comes to the machines where I'm just beyond weak.

You know.. where you put the weight on like 40lbs and you think oh yeah no prob.... lift your arms up get ready to push, and it doesn't move. Not one little millimeter. So you move it to 20, thinking that should do the trick...

And push...

... and it moves... at bit but it's not going any farther..

OK FINE 10lbs....


I can do 3!

Holy crap. I R Weak.

There are six rows of machines... each night I do 3 rows... then the next the other three...

How come there are different machines that pretty much do the same thing? But yet there are some that once you actually start them you realize it is a tiny bit different, but you feel it a lot differently then the one you just did that was almost exactly like that? I mean why? Why would you put machines in a row, thinking they are maybe two in a row so more than one person can do the exercise at one time, so you skip it, and then one day you actually try it and realize it's different so then you start doing all of the machines in the row, only to realize that no, I was right, there are actually some that are two in a row, and why are there shoulder ones in the arm section that are the same as the ones in the leg section, and shouldn't they follow the signs?

So, I decided to actually bite the bullet and hire a trainer.

Maybe I'll unlock the secrets of the weight lifting area.... don't worry I'll actually share my knowledge.

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